Changes
I apologize for not updating often, I've been doing work and school and I just got a second work at home job that I'd been hoping for.
Ever since the outburst on the last post, I've felt different but I won't jump to conclusions as to what they are as I am always on edge about relapsing. My friend told me to play a game that day, and everything felt better; my headache went away, my irritation died down. I was only allowed to play for an hour.
After that day, I played here and there. As time went by, I played games for less and less and focused more and more on the little roleplaying game I was making for fun and commissions.
When at school on break, I would go to Multi-Player Online Games directory or MMOsite to find a new game. I tried to do that on Tuesday and barely stayed on each site for more than a minute. I just felt odd inside. Instead I started looking up stuff on polymer clay modeling and had a good time reading the tutorials and planning on how to utilize them for my projects.
I played Kingdom of Loathing and logged out after about fifteen minutes. It was once that I could play that game for 2 or even 3 hours. It was the same with Goonzu; I played for about 30 minutes and went offline. I kept getting that urge that I could do something better.
I still like gaming but I tingle when I think of being creative or productive. It's still hard to get started on things but not nearly as hard as before. I am still scared of going backwards.
Ever since the outburst on the last post, I've felt different but I won't jump to conclusions as to what they are as I am always on edge about relapsing. My friend told me to play a game that day, and everything felt better; my headache went away, my irritation died down. I was only allowed to play for an hour.
After that day, I played here and there. As time went by, I played games for less and less and focused more and more on the little roleplaying game I was making for fun and commissions.
When at school on break, I would go to Multi-Player Online Games directory or MMOsite to find a new game. I tried to do that on Tuesday and barely stayed on each site for more than a minute. I just felt odd inside. Instead I started looking up stuff on polymer clay modeling and had a good time reading the tutorials and planning on how to utilize them for my projects.
I played Kingdom of Loathing and logged out after about fifteen minutes. It was once that I could play that game for 2 or even 3 hours. It was the same with Goonzu; I played for about 30 minutes and went offline. I kept getting that urge that I could do something better.
I still like gaming but I tingle when I think of being creative or productive. It's still hard to get started on things but not nearly as hard as before. I am still scared of going backwards.
posted by Ruya @ 7:41 PM
1 Comments:
At 5:11 PM,
P. Shavaun Scott said…
Hi! I've been working a ton and finally have a chance to read your blog here.
Would you be interested in being interviewed for the "gamer" documentary? Your story is very compelling.
If not, it might also be possible to use part of your story as a voice over.
I'm more than happy to share more info with you.
This is Evanor by the way :-)
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